Dont Let Go
by Ashlalee
Summary: How will the team react when one of there own is missing? Gabby all the way. M just to be safe I dont own NCIS if i did i wouldnt be here writing. Id be spending money! Chapter 4 is up Im gonna aim for 5-6 Chapters.
1. Morning Air

Abby got out of her hearse, in her usual dress attire, mini skirt and a black and white shirt, her boots made clunking sounds as she made her way to her lab. It was 4 am, dark outside her favorite time of the day, she loved the way the air smelled at this time of the morning she was so in tune to her own thoughts she didn't hear the man approach her from behind. He gripped her face, put a cloth over her mouth, she tried to scream instead she breathed in the poison and went limp in his arms, her last thought was "Gibbs is going to be super mad at me for being late."

Dinozzo was in the bull pen bored out of his mind, he received a call from Gibbs telling him they had a case and to go to the Naval yard and not the scene that was an hour ago and he was still sitting in his chair playing drums with his pens. He didn't see Gibbs get off the elevator or stare at him with the glare, but he sure did feel the smack on the head. "Up Dinozzo we have to take Abby her Caf-Pow then we have an address to check out." He didn't say a word as he boarded the elevator, Gibbs pushed the button for Abby's lab and they waited. When the doors opened it was deathly silent which was unusual for Abby, they made there way to her lab, the lights were off but on the door was a yellow post-it note, as Dinozzo went to grab it he received another smack in the head, Gibbs pulled it off the door and read it silently _She is not my first and she wont be my last. _Dinozzo could see the anger in his bosses face as he tried to read the note. He was devastated he loved Abby he would never tell her but he did, After Shannon and Kelly, Abby was the only thing that could make him smile and now she was taken and he was going to do everything to get her back. He slammed the note on the glass and walked away leaving to call Ducky maybe he could help. Dinozzo did the only thing he could think of, called the day shift forensic scientist to do there magic on the note to give some clue a fingerprint something to find Abby.

**Abby**

Her head hurt, and she was hungry she didn't know where she was but she did know Gibbs was going to kill her for getting kidnapped. She tired to move but her hands were tied with some type of rope, and she was laying on a dirty mattress on the floor. She tried to assess her damage the best she could, she was on fire from the waist down, she licked her lips and tasted blood, she knew she had to have a busted lip. Her left eye was swollen she could tell by the dull pain radiating from there. The Man came back into the little room, he approached Abby rubbing his thumb across her cheek, Abby shuddered under his touch. He whispered in her ear causing her to almost faint with pure sickness, he leaned in and whispered again _"Your a good lay I bet your better when your awake."_ That was all he said and he walked away leaving Abby very sick to her stomach and scared. Her only thought "Gibbs ... such pain... find me..."

**Gibbs**

Abby had been gone for 17 hours and his heart was about to pulsate out of his chest. His every thought consisted of her, if was ok, if she was hurt, if she was even alive... he had to shake that one away. He was going to find her, he loved her he wasn't letting her go that easy, no one was taking his Abby without a hell of a fight. He looked over at McGee and Ziva they were busy checking her credit cards and phone records trying to find who ever took Abby. Dinozzo was in a shell which was very unlike him, but it was understood, Abby was like his little sister and you could read the worry in his face. Ducky was doing what all good Medical Examiner did telling a story to him, but he couldn't remember a single thing, he just wanted his Abby back. He sent down in his chair and pulled open the last drawer Bert the Hippo was there, he picked Bert up and gave him a squeeze, the sound went through the room, everyone looked at him, he just put his head in his hands and thought "Abby..i love you..". The team didn't know how to comfort him, they all knew he loved Abby, the just sat in silence as there boss, blamed himself for loosing his precious Abby.

**Abby**

She was so tired, all she wanted to do was go home and get in her coffin and go to sleep, but she knew it wasn't going to happen. She was in this place....Her body hurt, she was weak she didn't know how long she had been in here and she still had no idea who the man was. The next time he came into the room she asked him "What do you want with me?", he replied "You are a necessity in me getting what I want", "What do you want","You", with those words she lost grip and kicked the man, he came back across her face with his fist finally knocking her into oblivion where she couldn't feel pain. Her last thought. Gibbs..i love you..". She blacked out. The man had his way with her yet again, this time making sure he recorded it to send to her friends at NCIS. He even put a message with the tape "My name is Shocker, and Ms. Abby is number 23 on my list and she wont be the last, if you can find her you can have her" once more zooming in on her body.

**Gibbs**

He got a phone call from a blocked number that said three words "Check you email", then the person hung up. He had an email from and ISP he didn't recognize, when he opened it he got the shock of his life, the love of his life being violated, and he was not there to protect her. Anger soared through his veins, as he yelled for McGee or Ziva anybody to track the address before his Abby was killed. He felt useless giving orders, he couldn't protect her, she needed him and he couldn't find her. How was he going to explain this to Abby if the found her.. shaking his head **when**they find her. He was scared, every breathe hurt. Then McGee stood up "Boss we got something", he almost ran Ziva over trying to get to him.


	2. Stale Air

Ok.. thanks for the reviews, just like I promised here is part 2 maybe one more chapter haven't decided let me know!

Chapter 2- Stale Air

**Abby**

She was fading and she felt it, but she couldn't move someone was talking to her, someone was trying to wake her up, she knew in her soul it wasn't Gibbs, she did her best to roll over and forget the pain she was enduring. She was alone in this and it hurt. She thought "he promised that no one was going to hurt me, _he lied._" But she felt guilty thinking that, he had protected her through so much, through Mikel, and Ari. She was bleeding she could feel the coldness of it seep to her bones, she cried letting the tears overcome her. Before she faded back into the abyss she thought to herself, trying to send it to Gibbs someway somehow...."_Don't forget me... Don't let go..yet_". She passed out as the man gave up trying to talk to her.

**Gibbs**

He hadn't slept in 36 hours, his every thought consumed by Abby. He had drank so much coffee he lost count he didn't care anymore, he had a lead and he was running with it. McGee found that Abby still had her cell phone, but the signal was fading fast, her battery must be dying he thought. Thinking of death he shuddered, they were trying to put a trace on her phone but it was blocked by some sort or jammer device. They had an address earlier before the signal was dead, and Dinozzio and Ziva went to check it out, while McGee was blaming himself and looking through her credit card history trying to find any recent activity. He was standing right McGee, he could see the way this was bugging him, he had loved Abby at one point. He was so mad yet so devastated, he was going to find her, he had to, she was his life, his sparkle without her, things didn't matter. McGee was looking at Abby's old case files and something caught his eye, he stood up so fast he almost knocked Gibbs over, Gibbs smacked him in the back of the head, and McGee just stood there, he told Gibbs what he had found, before he even got it out of his mouth Gibbs was on his phone calling Dinozzio and Ziva. They had a lead, and they were following it.

The team had been searching for Abby for almost 3 days, they were tired , hungry and snappy, but it didn't matter Abby was the backbone of the team everyone loved her, even Ziva who had her fair share of fights with Abby she still missed her. They had an id on Shocker, McGee found his alias was Shocker, Abby had been the forensic scientist to put his brother Tyler Mann in jail for the murder of PO Lyla Mann, his wife. Shocker's real name was Tobias Mann, they were at his last address 1371 Penn St. They had there guns out and were in defensive stance, when they heard soft talking from behind the door. Gibbs looked back his team, his eyes pleading for them to be quiet so he could hear what was being said. The team quieted and heard " Wake up my lovely you have to eat, then we can make another video, maybe this time you'll be awake and actually participate". Gibbs heard this and kicked down the door not caring whether or not his team followed, the only thing on his mind was Abby. Shocker, was caught off guard and he did his best to pick up lost ground picking up his knife and gripping an unconscious Abby, waiting for NCIS to do something stupid. Gibbs was smarter than that he did his best not to look at Abby knowing it would break his concentration. He kept up his eye contact waiting for some kind of weakness from Shocker, he flinched when he saw his gun he pulled out of his holster. Gibbs knew he was scared, o she slowly put his gun up ready to shoot, if he made an attempt to hurt Abby. Shocker threw Abby down on the bed and took his knife and proceeded to cut his throat. Gibbs stood there shocked not knowing what to think. Whether to act or let him finish, he signaled for Dinozzo to call two ambulances one for Abby and one for the scum. (lol i had to add that). His concentration back on Abby he ran to her, surveying the damage that had been done to his beloved. He could see, she had a busted lip, black eye, it looked like her arm was broken, and she was bleeding from her nose and between her thighs, Gibbs knew that Shocker had taken the one thing from Abby she always had control over. As he held her, tears sprung to his eyes from fear of loosing her, and he was crying because he found her. He would never her out his sight again... As he was thinking Abby slowly looked up he could see the pain in her eyes, she said 4 words to him "You didn't let go", and she fell asleep, safe again. She gripped his shirt, as he picked her up. He was worried but happy, his Abby was back, but she needed him now than ever, and he wasn't going anywhere.

Let me know what you think, I know its short but its my 1st fanfic. So give me reviews!


	3. Hospital Air

Chapter 3-Hospital Air

Slowly she started to come back from her abyss, it was dark and comforting, but she was still missing something, Gibbs, she needed for him to tell her she was safe. She needed his arms around her shielding her from the world. But most of all she needed _him_. She knew she was in the hospital, she heard the familiar beeps on the heart machine,the familiar smell and she could feel eyes on her, but she didn't want to wake up yet, she didn't want to face that she messed up. That she let Gibbs down, and in her darkest hour thought bad thoughts about him. She didn't know if Gibbs would forgive her, but she knew that if he didn't it would kill her, and a part of her was already dead she could feel it, and with Gibbs mad at her she would have nothing left, nothing to fight for, with that thought she let a sob rack her body, the minute it left her she felt a presence by her side, grip her hand. The presence leaned in a whispered "I'm sorry Abby, please forgive me." She knew in her soul it was Gibbs but she couldn't face him yet so she pretended to be asleep until he went away. She lay there thinking about all that had happened to her, she couldn't remember alot, she was only awake for some of it, but that wasn't the part that scared her, what scared her was what happened when she was unconscious, it scared her more than she was willing to admit.

**Gibbs**

He hadn't left her side since they found her, except to get a cup of coffee. She looked so small in that hospital bed, she looked more vulnerable than he had ever seen her. When he was gazing upon her battered face, all he could think was we found her, but she ever be the same Abby again? He heard he whimper in her sleep, he slowly grabbed her hand, whispering over and over "I'm sorry Abby please forgive me". With that, he layed his head in his hands and fell asleep for the first time in 4 days.

The team hadn't left the hospital since she was admitted. Dinozzo was doing everything he could to make her comfortable, he went to her house and got some essentials that she might need, toothbrush, nightgown, underwear and he had to make a stop to HQ to pick up Bert. When he walked into her room, he could see his boss was asleep, so he put the stuff down and lifted Bert out of the box, he walked over to Abby, taking her all in, slowly lifted the arm without the cast and put Bert in her grasp. He lent in and kissed her on the forehead, saying to her so quietly "We missed you Abby, even Bert.... Your safe now.. no one is going to hurt you". Saying that he left the room, went straight past the team and kept walking, he needed to be alone, Abby was like his little sister, and he was going to do whatever it took to get her back, body and mind.

**Abby**

She had felt Tony come in, and when he lifted her arm she about screamed then she realized what he was doing. Giving her Bert, she could feel she was missed, and she had Bert to keep her company, it took all her will power not to squeeze him, but she knew if she did it would wake up Gibbs, and she wasn't ready for that. She knew she had to wake up sooner or later, so she just opened her eyes, letting her eyes adjust to the harsh light of the hospital, careful not to make a sound, she turned her head and looked at Gibbs sleeping with his head in his hands, _he looks so tired_she thought, she so wanted to see his blue eyes, she had to know if he hated her or not. So she opened her mouth and thought about what she was going to say to him. Her voice squeaked bearly a whisper, she said the only thing she could think of "Gi...bb..s".

**Gibbs**

She said his name! Well at least he thought she did, so he opened his eyes to find her staring back at him, she looked so weak and he just wanted to wrap her in the biggest hug possible out he knew he couldn't it was too much too soon. He went to her careful not to touch her just to let her know he was there. "Abby, I'm here baby, your alright nothing is going to happen to you again." He watched her as his words sunk in, she looked like a child taking a test, he thought he had said something wrong until the tiniest smirk played across her face, "Sorry I was late boss". He let a smile come across his face, he knew it would take time, but at least Abby was safe, know they just had to worry about how this was going to affect Abby as a person. They would worry about that later right now he was more interested in catching up on what Abby had been through these past couple days.

She didnt want talk she just wanted to look at him, she didnt want him to touch her she just wanted him near. There was so much she wanted to say but she didnt know how to even begin. She wanted to know if he hated her, but she as too scared to ask. She hurt down to her soul but she would never let him see that. She didnt know if she was even happy she was alive, she didnt know if she was strong enough to deal with this but what she did know is that she almost died without telling Gibs she loved him, she was bound and deterimned to tell him, but right now she was just happy to have him near and nothing could pull her away from him, not nobody not no how.


	4. No Air

Chapter 4- No Air

**Abby**

She had been in the hospital for 10 days, she was getting ancy, she missed her babies, she didn't want some stupid fill-in messing up her babies. Her lip had healed quite nicely and the bruise on her cheek was turning a pale greenish-yellow, the only reminder that something had happened to her was the cast on her right arm and the stitches between her thighs which was the most uncomfortable things she had ever encountered. They had kept her in the hospital for observation and therapy sessions, which were required after a rape case. God she hated that word, she hated when the suit wearing bimbo came to talk to her, that was all she wanted to talk about. _How does that make you feel? Do you dream about it? Are they vivid dreams or more like memories? _Abby never said a damn word, what was she supposed to say, she hated herself and nothing that suit wearing bimbo said would change her mind. She wanted to pretend it never happened, if it never happened she wouldn't have to deal with it. Why did everyone want her to face it? Didn't they understand it would crush her? She didn't want to be the weak Abby anymore, she wanted to be her old self, and no one would let her do that. She hadn't been alone since she was admitted and she felt like she needed fresh air, and room to think. She loved her team but they were suffocating her, she just needed to be alone to work this though.

The rest of the team had returned to work, even though none of them wanted to without Abby. After a while of getting things back in order it seemed things were going back to normal. No one saw her come in, or get on the elevator, but they could feel something was new. Abby released herself from the hospital and went straight to her lab. She needed to be at work, she couldn't let her thoughts consume then she really would break down. Her lab looked the same, but there was some annoying junk playing on the radio, she realized that this idiot was playing country music on her stereo. It was like this guy just came into her space and took over and no one even cared, she wanted to crawl into a ball and cry, they didnt care wether she came back or not, it was like a blow to the stomach she knew she had to get out of there or her knees were going to buckle. So she did what Abby did best she ran, she didnt know where she going, she didnt care, she wasnt wanted so why should she worry about it. She ended up in the elevator, riding it up and down kind of made her feel better. She just wanted to sit in the corner and ride the elevator until she died. She knew she would get caught soon she just didnt expect to feel so guilty.

**Gibbs**

His heart ached for her, he could see that she was spirling downward, and he planned to be there when she hit rock bottom. It scared him, Abby had been pushing everyone away, she was putting up her guard, he knew she would have alot to deal with he just didnt expect to feel so much pain. When he went to sleep each night, he prayed, something he hasnt done since Shannon and Kelly were killed. He prayed with every bone in his body, that he could take her pain away, make her happy again, he even begged God once to let it be him instead of Abby, he loved her that much. He was willing to take every nightmare, every flashback, every ounce of pain, just as long as she could be ok and not worry about anything anymore. It killed him to see fear in her eyes, she used to be so easy going and fun-loving, now it was like a piece of her had died and it rocked him to his core. How do you take the pain away and still leave the person the same? He had seen her sleep at the hospital, if you could call it sleep, there was thrasing, and whimpering, she usually woke up covered in sweat. He knew her nightmares were so real, you could taste them, he would always hold her hand and wouldnt let go until she was safely asleep. Sometimes he would scootch her over and lay down with her, she would put her head on his chest and she would sleep so soundly like she knew she was safe. But just as quickly as it happened it ended,she would turn over on her left side careful of her cast and move away from him, she didnt like to be touched anymore unless it was instagated by her. Even then it was rare.

**Abby**

She was only safe if she was awake, she found that out early on. When she was asleep her memories came back to haunt her leaving her breathless everytime. It was like getting violated everytime you shut your eyes, she finally found out a way to make the dreams stop, but it only made her hurt more. She found out if Gibbs slept with her, her dreams went away. He was her safe guard, but she couldnt depend him forever. If she was going to get through this, she was going to have to do it on her own. So she invested in a journal, she wrote when she couldnt sleep, when the world bothered her, when she couldnt escape from her thoughts, she wrote and wrote and wrote. She wrote so much she actually started to feel better, she wrote in her journal like it was a best friend, going to it when she needed help, when she couldnt find the answeres in anyone. That journal became her lifeline it was always with her, and always ready to listen. She loved that journal it never made her talk when she didnt want to, it never judged her when she wrote nasty things, it kept all her secrets. She didn't know it then but that journal would do more talking than she ever could, she figured she would just leave it with him and walk away making her intentions clear that she wanted him to read it. So thats exactly what she did, she could feel his eyes on her as she left him with her heart, she was scared but she knew he had to know. It was the only way, without making her feel like a complete and total idiot. She just hoped he still loved her the same when he got finished reading. She had layed it all out in front of him, every worry, every fear, every thought she has had since this began, she just hoped he could handle this messed up version of Abby.

Ok let me know what you think.. probably 2 more chapters then Epilouge not going into to much details.. but some suprises coming up!!


	5. Author's Note

Ok, just for the record I know my grammar is bad. This is just for fun, not school or anything. I worked really hard on this, I know I'm not perfect so give me a lil credit, this is my 1st fanfic.


	6. Love's Sweet Air

Chapter 5- Love's Sweet Air

**Gibbs**

She left her journal with him, he couldn't believe it; he knew he would finally get to the bottom of what was bothering her besides the obvious. So he made himself comfortable in the only place it seemed right to read something so private, in his basement with his boat. He slowly opened the journal a little excited but scared at the same time. He turned to the first page, just staring at the words Abby had written, he knew if he didnt start reading soon he would never do it. So he just read, letting her thoughts overtake his own.

_**April,23 2008- Your name is Earl :)**_

_**This had got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done. Writing in a journal, who would of thought that little old me would need a journal. But this is the only way I can be myself. I very well cant spend all my time talking to Bert can I? Now that would make me silly, you don't even know who Bert is do you? Well, how do I explain him? He is my best friend; and he is a farting hippo and I love him so much. I guess that really is my problem, I can love something so simple as Bert but I cant bring myself to tell the person I really love, how I feel. Alot has happened to me in these past 3 weeks, for starters I was kidnapped. Yeah, go on and say it, you dummy. Believe me I say it to myself everyday. Alot happened to me while I was kidnapped alot I cant remember and alot I can. It scared me more than anything being away from the people I love, but I would have traded it all just for one person to grab me up in a hug and tell me they love me. That person is... well I guess I can tell you**_

He felt his heart jump in his chest.... Please God let it be me...

_**its not like you can run and tell him. His name is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and he is**_

He felt a smile come across his face.. so she did feel the same way.

_**My boss and my best friend (that is alive), he means so much to me but I let him down in the worst possible way. I let my fear play against me, and I thought bad things about him. I cant even face him without remembering what I thought. I was so mad at him for letting this happen to me, but I didnt mean it honest Earl. I love him with every beat of my heart. I was so scared I was gonna die and even know I can't believe I was mad at him. After all he did find me, but I was so scared if he ever found out that he would hate me. I just cant live without him Earl, you understand don't you? My whole life I ve had to fight for everything I've ever wanted and I just dont want to fight anymore, with Gibbs I don't have to do that. He is my guardian angel, Ive never had anyone care for me like he does. I just hope he doesn't hate me. Yeah I know I was raped, and it is still sensitive for me, but you know what? I think I'll be okay on that front, I know itll take time but I dont even want to try without Gibbs. I hope he understands that I'll never be the same, I need him to tell me he doesn't hate me. I can deal with the rape, and the kidnap, but i certainly can't live without Gibbs; I refuse to. My life would have no meaning without him. I just hope he realizes this and soon. So long for now love Abs**_

He let the journal (Earl) slip out of his hands, flabbergasted by what he just read. He couldn't believe Abby thought he hated her. He loved Abby and he would have to prove it to her. He knew there was more in her journal but he had read enough to get the bottom of her pain. He had an idea, but he had some shopping to do. He grabbed his keys and Earl, and left the house; getting into his car, putting Earl on the front seat. He was pretty sure this would work he just hoped she could forgive him for being so naive.

**Abby**

It had been at least 4 hours since she had left Earl with him. LOL she couldn't believe she named her journal. But it was her after all, she would be suprised if she didn't. Bert was sitting on the couch, she picked him up giving him a squeeze, he could always make her feel better, even when all she wanted to do was get in her coffin and forget everything that had happened. Today was actually one of her better days, she hadnt had a dream and a while, and she was giving people hugs again. She thought she was finally coming back into her own. She knew he was reading her journal, and she couldn't help but feel guilty. Her thoughts and feelings were out in the open, were she couldn't get them back and hide them from him. There was nothing like telling someone your feelings and waiting for an answer. (In her case reading feelings). It was kinda like the pit og her stomach was going to fall out. She felt fine physically, but emotionally she was a wreck, and not because of everything that had happened. It was because she needed to know. God it was driving her crazy, it was like waiting for Christmas she needed to know now! But then again she didn't want to know. What if he told her he didn't love her? She didn't know if she could handle it. She had lost so much already, she couldn't loose him too. Then she heard a soft-knock on the door, she went to get it and there was Gibbs holding a big square box with a red bow. She couldn't hide the giant smile on her face. As he walked in she closed the door behind him.

Does anyone what to know what Gibbs got Abby to make her feel better? hahaha you'll have to wait... i promise it wont be long. :) reviews!! now I command you!! lol j/p only if you want but they will be appreciated


	7. No More Air Just Gibbs

Chapter 6- No More Air Just Gibbs

**Gibbs**

He was at Abby's place, holding her gift; scared of her response. He loved her with every fiber of his being, he hoped and prayed she would be alright. He was clutching the box so tightly the his knuckles were turning white. Just standing in her apartment made him go weak at the knees, he hoped she didnt see how she made him feel. This gift would be the deal breaker, either she loved him back or ran and took cover. He decided it was now or never, so he placed the box on the table, and grabbed her hand. Even his voice was shaky as he started to speak.. " _Abs....I dont hate you, I never could. When you were gone I was so scared_".... he was cut off in the middle of his speech by the most passionate kiss he had ever received. She looked up at him her green eyes sparkling, kind of like the old Abby. She said "_Why my silver-haired fox I think your blushing."_

**_Abby_**

She had just kissed Gibbs, she couldnt believe it. Know he was blushing in her apartment. God, this was the most amazing feeling she had ever felt, she wasnt scared anymore, she was in love. Her eyes grazed to the package he had brought her. Her thoughts rambling around in her head, _its too big for a ring, too small for a car, what could it be? _She picked up the box careful not to break it, if it was breakable. She took off the black bow, smiling (that was a nice touch Gibbs), reached into the box and pulled out a female Hippo with a black bow sewn on her left ear. There was a note in the bottom of the box. She knew it was Gibbs writing immediately. All the note said was _Even the most simplest things need to be loved, I would like you to meet Roberta, i figured Bert would be just as lonely as I was before I met you. Its kinda like us in Hippo form, yeah i know Marines dont talk like that. I love you Abs_. Flabbergasted, she sat holding Roberta, as a tear grazed her cheek, he understood her. Maybe this could work, there were so many questions she had. She didnt know where to begin, she stood up pulling Gibbs into her arms, making sure he knew her intentions. She loved him, she felt safe with him. But major points that he had just given her the best gift in the world. Not realizin what she was doing she squeezed Roberta, and a feminine sound filled the room. Abby could not believe her ears, Roberta was a farting Hippo too, as she realized this she started to laugh.

They were comfortable, they had each other and nothing was going to change that. She felt safe, and that was all that mattered. Alot had happened in these past couple weeks. But none of it mattered as they lay there on Abby's couch wrapped in each others arms, not a word said but everything understood. That night she fell asleep in his arms the happiest she had been since this had started. While Bert and Roberta had there own fun on the coffee table.

Sorry so short but I had to finish it. It was driving me nuts, i wasnt getting reviews, so i finished it hope you like it. For all the people who did review thank you twas greatly appreciated.


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